Last Saturday night while Autumn and I were up at Grammie's in Ventura (really to celebrate Uncle Jordan's homecoming from Afghanistan, but we'll use any excuse to make a trip up to Grammie's house) we stopped for a casual dinner at Peking Chinese restaurant. It was a lazy, sweat pants and no makeup kind of day, the kind where you pretty much roll out of bed, throw your hair up in a bun and well, do nothing. So it was only fitting when dinner rolled around and, amidst preparations for the following afternoon's entertaining and barbeque, I suggested we get Chinese take-out. An order of 'Moo Goo Gai Pan' to-go became a spontaneous dine-in dinner for 3 and soon we were slurping small cups of egg drop soup, with an order of chicken fried rice coming up (because I was just hoping Autumn would be satisfied with some seasoned carbs and protein!). To our surprise, she quite enjoyed the soup and asked for seconds, along with the crunchy noodles and sauce they brought out for our appetizer...no surprises there!! :)
We ate quickly, with casual, intermitent conversation, mostly due to the antsy-ness of Tweetsie girl and the sweet distraction of her cheerful voice singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" like there wasn't anyone for miles and miles. A couple of "shush's" from Grammie and I and reminders to "speak quietly" and "use your restaurant voice" were also a part of the noise. Dinner was delicious. Time for the check....and then, the fortune cookies. I inconspicuously grabbed the one closest to me in proximity (with a hint of superstition and hopefulness, I admit). I'm not usually one of those people who holds onto their fortunes, or keeps it in her wallet to "remember". Instead, holding the fortune quite loosely, I read it and then, dismiss it, pretty soon after leaving the restaurant. But on this night, this ordinary-lazy-no makeup-good for nothing-day, where the hours bleed from one to the next so you're not quite sure when the sun rises and sets, my fortune cookie contained a message I will never forget. The wording isn't so much important as the content and how it resonated with my slow, steady, yet longing heartbeat: "Don't keep looking to the future for happiness....it's right next to you."
At that moment, I looked up to witness the goofy interaction between my mama who was loving my precious daughter, both with mouths full of cookie crumbs, both genuinely happy and stuffed and loved. It didn't matter what their fortune said. My mom was only concerned that Autumn had eaten her portion of the cookie and had nothing left over! But at that moment, it was as if time stood still and I paused long enough to take a mental snap-shot...to remember. Right next to me. All that I want is right next to me. All that I could possibly long for, I have. I long for more, but I have all that I need. Do I believe in fortune cookies? I don't call myself superstitious, but I am a believer. And today I am choosing to believe that God sees me and that I have more than enough. My heart is happy.
We ate quickly, with casual, intermitent conversation, mostly due to the antsy-ness of Tweetsie girl and the sweet distraction of her cheerful voice singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" like there wasn't anyone for miles and miles. A couple of "shush's" from Grammie and I and reminders to "speak quietly" and "use your restaurant voice" were also a part of the noise. Dinner was delicious. Time for the check....and then, the fortune cookies. I inconspicuously grabbed the one closest to me in proximity (with a hint of superstition and hopefulness, I admit). I'm not usually one of those people who holds onto their fortunes, or keeps it in her wallet to "remember". Instead, holding the fortune quite loosely, I read it and then, dismiss it, pretty soon after leaving the restaurant. But on this night, this ordinary-lazy-no makeup-good for nothing-day, where the hours bleed from one to the next so you're not quite sure when the sun rises and sets, my fortune cookie contained a message I will never forget. The wording isn't so much important as the content and how it resonated with my slow, steady, yet longing heartbeat: "Don't keep looking to the future for happiness....it's right next to you."
At that moment, I looked up to witness the goofy interaction between my mama who was loving my precious daughter, both with mouths full of cookie crumbs, both genuinely happy and stuffed and loved. It didn't matter what their fortune said. My mom was only concerned that Autumn had eaten her portion of the cookie and had nothing left over! But at that moment, it was as if time stood still and I paused long enough to take a mental snap-shot...to remember. Right next to me. All that I want is right next to me. All that I could possibly long for, I have. I long for more, but I have all that I need. Do I believe in fortune cookies? I don't call myself superstitious, but I am a believer. And today I am choosing to believe that God sees me and that I have more than enough. My heart is happy.
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